T’was the night before football, and all through the land
Every creature was stirring, every coach, every fan
The shockings all stung: Luck retired? Odell’s where?
With the hope’s that a playoff berth soon would be theirs
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of dynasties danced in their heads
And mama with her KC Chief, and I with my Pats
Had just settled with our bookies, our Week 1 stats
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my mancave to see what was the matter
Away to the website I flew like a flash
Tore open a brewski; ponied up the cash
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh with 8 tiny reindeer
With a little old driver (this must be some party,
I bet at the end there’ll be a Lombardi)
More rapid than Eagles (of course, we exclaimed)
He whistled and shouted and called them by name:
Now Saquon! Now Eli! Now coaching assistants!
Now Zeitler! Now rookies! Now Bettcher, keep blitzin’!
To the top o‘ the division, with home-field n’ all
Now get away, get away, bad breaks and calls,
Vs Brady, Part 3, said all of the stories
With Rosas in OT, we returned to our glories!
Apologies rained, with “experts” recantin’
Now singing a chorus of, “Eli for Canton!”
We hoisted the trophy, much to my delight
Yadda, yadda, yadda, and to all…a good night! 🙂